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Month: June 2018

An open letter to my past relationship

There was a hello. Shy conversations of getting to know someone, many nerves and anxious feelings. They turned into kisses, torn down walls and falling in love.

There was a relationship. A beautiful one. One full of love and promises, fights and make-ups. Getting to know someone more and more each day, understanding and anticipating reactions.

There was a goodbye. One that took months to process, accept and let go.

In between the hello and goodbye was so much love, but somehow it changed and got lost along the way. Hurt feelings and flaws stepped in and destroyed something meaningful. Moving on is painful and it takes time, but it doesn’t invalidate the time between the hello and the goodbye. It doesn’t invalidate the feelings, no matter what happens from here on out.

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The way you speak to yourself matters.

I am not the most self-loving person. While I do value my strengths , I also ask a lot of myself. In times of great stress, I expect my body and mind to give 100% even though I rarely put in the right treatment of my body to reach its full potential.
I have realized I often talk down to myself in my mind. I beat myself up about every little flaw and mistake, analyzing the tiniest details and searching for more mistakes on my part. This is time consuming and energy draining but I do it nevertheless. Up until recently, I let my mind cloud my mood with my own disruptive thoughts. My mind is a cloudy place in general lately – that I have come to realize.
I am trying to make a point of treating myself in the way I want my friends to treat themselves. I am trying to accept and celebrate my reactions to the best of my ability. Because the way you speak to yourself matters.

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