I picture every relationship as a house of cards. We build them on a foundation – a mutual feeling or interest. And then we build further on that – layer by layer the relationship evolves. With some relationships, we will eventually add the last layer. The relationship reaches it’s best before date, and we move on to build new houses. I’ve learned that not every person is meant to be in your life forever, we grow up and change, all that crap. That’s okay – sometimes it is even good. Or necessary.
What I like about the house of card analogy is the fact that it could collapse at any moment in time. It’s two people building the house of cards – one mistake could ruin everything. Have you ever looked at someone and thought ‘there are things I could say right now that could completely ruin this‘? “I cheated on you” or “I don’t love you anymore” will do the trick with a significant other. “I’ve murdered someone” to a friend or “I copied someone else’s work” to your favorite professor sure changes things. I consider these big things – like wrecking balls that will ruin almost every relationship.
But it’s fairly easy to avoid most wrecking balls – what I am more scared of are the houses of cards that collapse at the slightest blow, even though you were confident they would last forever. You didn’t realize at the time that too many cards were crooked or uneven. Somehow it all worked and you could still build on them – to a point. You couldn’t tell it was all doomed. You can’t pinpoint your finger on what it was that made it all fall down. Maybe it was not meant to be. Those are the relationships that haunt me the longest.